All Cast
Ricky Tomlinson
Mike Bassett
Amanda Redman
Karine Bassett
Philip Jackson
Lonnie Urquart
Bradley Walsh
Dave Dodds
Martin Bashir
Interviewer
Phill Jupitus
Tommo Thompson
Dean Lennox Kelly
Kevin Tonkinson
Robbie Gee
Smallsy
Geoff Bell
Gary Wackett
Pelé
Self
Ulrich Thomsen
Dr. Hans Shoegaarten
Geoffrey Hutchings
Geoffrey Lightfoot
Angela Curran
Margaret
Danny Tennant
Jason Bassett
Sean Gilder
Journalist
Mark Burdis
Journalist
Nigel Lindsay
Journalist
Sue Barker
Self
Gabby Logan
Self
Keith Allen
Self
Natasha Kaplinsky
Self
Dickie Bird
Self
Robert Putt
Jack Marshall
John Alford
Deano
Dean Holness
Danny
Scott Mean
Parksey
Terry Kiely
Harpsey
Peter McGillycuddy
Gorgeous
Toby Redwood
Berksey
Thomas Kenyon
Macca
Andy Ansah
Super
Robert Campion
Smudger
Alex Lawler
Sexy
Dion Osborne
Ossie
Danny Husbands
Normal
Declan Perkins
Perky
Phil Gridelet
Grids
Jenny Frost
Self
Liz McClarnon
Self
Malcolm Terris
Phil Cope
Ian Lindsay
Manchester Rep
Lloyd McGuire
Midlands Rep
Chris McQuarry
Alan Massey
Stephen Walters
Supporter
Barry Venison
Self
Ronaldo
Self
Kim Durham
Benson
Robert Hudson
Hedges
Des Hamilton
Scottish Player
Paul Rattray
Scottish Player
Neil Peplow
Scottish Goalie