All Cast

Ian Ziering

Fin Shepard

Tara Reid

April Shepard

Cassie Scerbo

Nova Clarke

Vivica A. Fox

Skye

Judah Friedlander

Bryan

Debra Wilson

New Bryan

Alaska Thunderfuck

Morgana

Neil deGrasse Tyson

Merlin

Marina Sirtis

Winter

Leslie Jordan

Benjamin Franklin

Darrell Hammond

George Washington

Ben Stein

Alexander Hamilton

Roy Taylor

Jebediah Clarke

Dexter Holland

British Captain

Kevin ‘Noodles’ Wasserman

British First Mate

Constantin Viscreanu

Paul Revere

Dee Snider

Sheriff

Jonathan Bennett

Billy the Kid

Chris Owen

Thirty-Year-Old Gil

James Murray

Eastwood

Gilbert Gottfried

Rand McDonald

Tori Spelling

Raye Martin

Dean McDermott

Gilly Shepard

Benjy Bronk

Connor Beale

Christopher Knight

Grandpa Clarke

Catarina Scerbo

Young Nova

Bernie Kopell

Charter Boat Captain

Chuck Hittinger

Matt Shepard

Ryan Whitney

Claudia Shepard

Israel Sáez de Miguel

Captain Santiago

Marcus Choi

Palmer

Alexandre Ottoni

Azzinaro

La Toya Jackson

Cleopatra

James Hong

Confucius

Eileen Davidson

Marie Antoinette

Shad Gaspard

Muhammad Ali

Jayson Paul

Joe Lewis

Kato Kaelin

Viking King

Patrick Labyorteaux

Caesar

Sharon Desiree

Joan of Arc

Bo Derek

May

Gary Busey

Wilford Wexler

Mark McGrath

Martin

Masiela Lusha

Gemini

Al Roker

Al Roker

John Heard

George (archive footage)

Anthony C. Ferrante

Quint Singer

Robbie Rist

Quint Guitarist

Tammy Klein

1950s Dancer

Roxanna Bina

1950s Dancer

Raine Michaels

Girl in Bikini

M. Steven Felty

Hologram Gil (voice) / D. Brown

Andrei Olteanu

Frodo

Chris Ridenhour

Townsperson

Thunder Levin

Bar Patron

Tiberiu Harsan

Medieval Gil

Brendan Petrizzo

Hologram Gil

Katarína Paveleková

Background

Erik Adkins

Petunia

Petunia