Luke Wilson
Cpl. "Average Joe" Bauers / "Not Sure"
Terry Crews
President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho
Anthony 'Citric' Campos
Secretary of Defense
David Herman
Secretary of State
Robert Musgrave
Sgt. Keller
Michael McCafferty
Officer Collins
Christopher Ryan
Hospital Technician
Patrick Fischler
Yuppie Husband
Valerie Posas
New Slutty Girl
Wes Davis
Trashy Teen Jock
Andrew Wilson
Beef Supreme
Kevin Klee
Main Character (Ow! My Balls! Guy)
John Dodson
Additional Officer
Melissa Espinales
Counter Woman
Joseph Cheatham
Doctor in Waiting Room
Jason Schaefer
Prison Guard #1 / Costco Greeter
Richard Reeder
Prison Guard #2
Lawrence Castillo
Prison Guard #3
Heather Kafka
Woman at Carl's Jr.
Christopher M. Campos
Congressman #1
Roman Ramos
Congressman #2
Randal Reeder
Secret Service Thug
Brendan Hill
Secretary of Energy
Thomas Haden Church
Brawndo CEO
Melissa Dawn
Female Newscaster
Derek Southers
Male Newscaster
Lidia Porto
Female Reporter
Gregory Kelly
Stadium Guard
Jason Konopisos-Alvarez
Cop at Government Center
Daniel Smith
Control Room Director
Chris Warner
Cop at Costco
Danny Cochran
Secretary of Education
Marcos Martinez Rios
Secret Service Thug #2
Earl Mann
Narrator (voice)
Sara Rue
Attorney General (uncredited)
Evan Miller
Charles Chaplin (uncredited)
Heath Allyn
Prisoner (uncredited)
Erik Anderson
Angry Court Member (uncredited)
Jason Bohn
Hospital Patient (uncredited)
Glori Renee Euwer
Museum Visitor (uncredited)
Evelyn Hurley
One of Upgrayedd's Ladies (uncredited)
Tom Kenny
Computer Voice (uncredited)
Max Kruemcke
Townsperson (uncredited)
T.J. McFarland
Old Man (uncredited)
Jesse Medeles
Peterson (uncredited)
James Moreno
Front Row Juror (uncredited)
Dan Murphy
Congressman (uncredited)
Steve Powers
Townsperson (uncredited)
Stephen Root
Judge Hector "The Hangman" (uncredited)
Lainie Safady
President Camacho's Groupie (uncredited)
Ava Knighten Santana
President Camacho's Groupie (uncredited)
Kati Sharp
Townsperson (uncredited)
Michael Sorrells
Party Guest (uncredited)
Gary Teague
Townsperson (uncredited)
Curtis Wayne
Amusement Park Patron (uncredited)
Caitlin Wehrle
President Camacho's Groupie (uncredited)
Heath Young
Townsperson (uncredited)
Spencer Kayden
Miss Claypool (uncredited)
Samantha Inoue Harte
Juror (uncredited)
